The Heart.

Today I held a dead lifeless heart. .

I thought that it would be somewhat magical, but to say the least, it wasn't.  The globs of fat and fibrous tissue surrounding it made for a poor presentation and the rock-like clotted blood throughout each chamber and venule only made for a more difficult preparation.  The presence of a shiny metal pacemaker inferred a poor lifestyle with bad dietary habits or possibly familial predispositions.  On the outskirts of the organ, a bypass surgery was present to help extend the life of this amazing organ.  One aspect of the heart seemed so real, so natural, and so authentic - while all the modern day innovations of healthcare showed a surreal and somewhat forged part of life.  Yet somehow, after seeing all these incredible feats of preserving life, and imagining the doctors that spent lifetimes to perfect their skills in realizing them I only could think about how much we do to destroy it.  

Why is it that as normal people we don't take on the responsibility of taking care of ourselves.  It's too often that we imagine a doctor's office as a mechanics garage that will take you in, fix you, and bill you later.  We believe that the fixing, repairing, and restructuring of our life is up to a physician or healthcare advisor when in reality we could avoid most all illnesses with prevention.  I fear the majority of Americans just lack the education and are ignorant to what they impose upon themselves with their choices.  I don't understand why more resources are used to help prevent the number one cause of death in America, heart disease.   Due to our poor lifestyle choices the rate of this disease is increasing at a phenomenal rate and doesn't appear to be slowing down anytime soon.  We know that tobacco causes lung cancer and we enforce laws to prevent adolescents from using them, while at the same time childhood obesity is skyrocketing and we do nothing.  Hmm.

Artificial heart

As I'm becoming more involved in medicine, I realize just how political and ethical the decisions we as healthcare workers are making.  I've heard it numerous times that doctors don't decide who gets treated or not, but instead just do what they've learned to do - heal the sick.   However, it's becoming more and more the issue that doctors are limiting services to underpriviledged, socioeconomically disadvantaged patients because they fear not getting reimbursed.  Morals are now brought into practices such as with cases dealing with abortions, and it's becoming a career so mixed up and confused that I can totally understand why many doctors wouldn't repeat it if presented with the opportunity.  So why do I choose to follow the crooked path to doctorhood?  Simply put - I don't know, I just want to.

Of course there are personal influences that motivate me but what I'm not inclined to do is to just treat the symptoms.  I hope one day that I can be involved of the healing process that helps someone regain function and quality of life.  I hope that I don't fall into the trap of pill pushing with a mere hope to keep a sick dying heart pumping for no reason other than self gratification.  This is what I hope for.